I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
