Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
do herpes really smell.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
