I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
