Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize