better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
