D3 body, D1 cock
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
