oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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