Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
