D3 body, D1 cock
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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