Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
