she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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