Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Help me help you realize you are a moron
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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