nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
