i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
