What a fucking waste of an outfit
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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