it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
