Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
