haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm always down for nudity.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
