My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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