After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
