Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
