wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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