I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
