i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
