i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
