we're blogging at a bar
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
