ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We were destined to go to rehab together
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
