Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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