It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
zippers are such a cool invention
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
