Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
