I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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