we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
