Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
