Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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