let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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