I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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