I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
