tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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