Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
