I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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