we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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