Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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