Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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