So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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