There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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