Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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