Kiss
Puke
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize