Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize