it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
