how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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