So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
