I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
how drunk are you?
Several
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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