You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize