Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
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