one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
