his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he high fived his dick after we had sex
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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