My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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