Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
