We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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