mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
love makes seman taste better
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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