I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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