it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
