Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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