I skipped work to stalk him.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
