i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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