yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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