I look better un-naked...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have fence marks all over my body
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
