being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize