Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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