i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just puked most of my soul out..
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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