one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize