wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
