I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
