$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We have so much sex to catch up on
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
