u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The best revenge is premature balding
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
