they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
