i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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