Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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