I bet he comes in French.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
