Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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